January 1, 2012

The Story of my first love...

This short story is taken from my self-published dating book... I've decided to add parts of the book to my blog so that you'll get to enjoy reading all my fun stories!

For you to understand who I am as a person as well as why I should be even “qualified” to be giving dating advice I’m going to take you back to when I was younger and explain certain experiences that helped shape me into who I am today.

You see, I’m a 20 something mom of two beautiful but oh so crazy kids. That after years of failed relationships and plenty of dating fails, found her soulmate. It wasn’t an easy journey to get to where I am today (lots of heartbreaks). In a way, It almost felt like I was in one of those depressing love story movies. I could NEVER catch a break! My dating success was next-to-none compared to my fails. Don't you worry, I have lots of posts about the love of my life here, and here.

It all started when I was a little girl, I remember being so different than all my beautiful friends. They had straight hair, blond hair, blue eyes, curves, and the perfect attitude do make guys keep coming back for more. Me on the other hand, think of a Brazilian version of Sporty Spice. I played soccer daily, practiced Brazilian capoeira, took gymnastics, and DANCED! I danced in ballet, modern, and even hip-pop, but where I found my identity was when I would skip school to create choreographies for “AXE” which is a well known Brazilian dance style. Because I was very active, I was very skinny, I had the longest legs and absolutely no boobs. My hair was just a hot mess. But! Here is what I did have: A perfectly shaped booty! And I don’t mean that to toot my own horn, but when you look at your phone and see that famous peach emoji yeah that’s what it looked like. (who am I kidding? It still looks like that to this day!)

As I approached my teenage years, something changed. I started to get noticed by guys. My Brazilian booty was usually the talk of the conversations. Back then, we had to have a conversation! How crazy is that? There were no smartphones (I did have a brick phone that was mainly used to play the snake game and receive calls from my parents). The point is that most of the guys interested in me during my teenage years had to really get to know me before asking me out. A lot of those guys were kids I grew up playing soccer with. The same guys that once made fun of my questionable fashion and frizzy hair. It’s funny how things work right?

My mom has always been my rock. Every time I would come home because a guy was being “mean” to me she would comfort me and help me understand how beautiful I truly was. She would say that I was beautiful from the inside out. She assured me that those guys just liked me and didn’t know how to behave in front of me. (Hey mom guess what? YOU WERE RIGHT!)

I Had my first kiss when I was 14 years old. I must explain this experience to you because it felt like I was in a movie. Every summer my sister and I would go up north to stay with our cousins for a few weeks. We knew every kid on the block because we would hang out with them all. Each year, when summer came around it was like a mini-reunion. There was this guy that was my age, he was Brazilian/Italian and very shy. My cousins could tell that he liked me. Finally, when I turned 14 they felt like it was my time to have my first kiss (I’m telling you, it was like some sort of initiation on something) His nickname was “Pan” he was buff and maybe even a little fluffy, a little taller than me. Super shy, but the most respectful 14-year-old. We planned for it to happen at night so that our parents wouldn’t find out. I remember my cousin Thais, who was older than us and was our “guide” for this experience. She told Pan to meet me behind their house. It was dark and perfect. Somehow, she had a flashlight with her. I remember looking in the mirror, brushing my teeth, fixing my hair. I’m surprised my aunt and uncle weren’t suspicious. It was finally time. I walked over with my two cousins and sister. He was waiting for us. He grabbed my hands. I was shaking. I kept looking down. He was shy too. It was also his first kiss! Just like we were about to enter a soccer arena to fight against our nemesis she had us huddled in a circle (just like a coach would) and started to explain things.

Okay! Nina you’re going to turn your head slightly to the left, and Pan, you are going to turn yours to the right. We both looked at each other and nodded at her. She then told us to twist our tongues while we were kissing (omg I’m literally dead as I type this! This is too good). So, it was finally time! She left us alone. This was when I realized that Pan wasn’t that shy kid I’ve known my whole life. He pulled me close by grabbing my tiny waist. He then grabbed the back of my neck and turned his head slightly to the right while I turned mine to the left. We went for it! It’s was almost like there were fireworks behind us. My heart was beating out of my chest and I just couldn’t believe how freaking good my first kiss was!

~From a distance I could hear my cousins and my sister go: oooh FINALLY! Then there was clapping.

Somehow this first kiss made me the most confident girl! I went on to kiss a few other guys that year. These were all guys that I had the biggest crush on growing up. One guy specifically, his nickname was “Pipi” he had the biggest lips. He looked like a surfer, he was calm and shy like me. We would often sneak away from our group of friends, so we could go make out! He was my first love. I never told him that. I should have it! He would have understood me. He was so sweet to me. I would picture our future together and write his name 100 times on my journal over and ever. What happened? My family moved away. I was heartbroken. I spent my last night at my apartment clubhouse talking to him. I remember sitting his lap, we laughed our heads off and talked about the good times. He would sometimes stop and look at me and kiss me. I’m pretty sure I cried on my way home.

My best friend Jack was with me. She was always there for me through my ups and downs as a teenager trying to fit in. She knew I liked this guy. She gave us our space that one last night. We kissed goodbye one last time. I never saw him again.

PS: After I moved he also moved to a different country (Australia) and is over there living his best life.

There you have it, the story of my first kiss and my first love!